From Julie

Please post for Dean and Lili how I've always loved them. The first time I met Lili was when my brother brought her home to meet the family, I instantly loved how comfortable and special she made me feel. That feeling has never changed and has grown into a deep appreciation and sisterly love. My brother on the other hand has always been my hero and he too has always made sure that I know how well loved I am.

I cherish each conversation that we have. I am the most fortunate sister on the planet to have such an amazing Brother and Sister-in-law. I am in total awe of the wonderful family they have raised and continue to nurture and love each and everyone.

From the Luckiest Sister on the Planet
Julie

From Ethan

Well Dad and Mom, you’ve arrived at a forty year marker of your love. Wow! That is so awesome. I can’t wait until I find the girl that I’m going to spend the next forty years with. I heard it said recently that the sum of a parent’s success, and I would add the success of a marriage, is evidenced in how their children have turned out. No amount of money, wealth, fame or power can account for a failure in the home. I just have to say that even with me in the mix, you two have done exceptionally well.
With the kind of parenting that you displayed we were always able to store away knowledge and develop habits and personalities that we would be able to use wisely in the future. I am so happy to have always had the privilege and blessing of growing up in a home where Christ is at the head with my parents at His side. I am grateful to the two of you for always teaching us just principles and ordinances of the gospel through your examples and one on one teaching. I am grateful to you, Dad, for righteously leading our family in the priesthood for the past forty years and to you, Mom, for righteously leading by teaching us how to follow the direction of the Savior and our earthly father, and how to lead as a companionship. What better lessons could be taught to your children?
I’m grateful for Dad always teaching us to respect our mother, sisters and women in general. I’m grateful to Mom for teaching us how to respect a righteous priesthood holder like Dad. grateful for learning that love notes hidden throughout a house and car can be big part of keeping love in a marriage. I’m grateful to know that it’s okay to let your kids see you kiss and hug your wife before you go to work and throughout the day just because. I'm grateful to have seen that it's okay to have disagreements in a marriage as long as you talk through them and make up. I’m grateful to know that a good way to strengthen a marriage is to pray and read the scriptures as a couple and with your kids. I’m grateful for family home evenings and family scriptures study, but most importantly being able to hear the testimonies of my parents as we studied the gospel together. I’m grateful to have learned how to be a good home teacher from my first companion, Dad. I’m grateful for learning how to not cut corners and to do the job right the first time from both of you guys in scouting, church, work and life. I’m grateful for family camping trips and knowing where I get my wild adventurous side from, what you didn’t think that we knew you would sneak off to go skinny dipping sometimes Dad? I’m grateful for parents who truly established a house of learning through their open mindedness, don’t discount the show of character it was for a white farm boy from Idaho to have an interracial marriage with a cute Latina from Mexico. You taught us to look at the world, not just where we live. When we had questions, you supplied encyclopedias and National Geographics (Yes it took us a while to get internet.) to us. Thank you for showing us how have gratitude for the things we have. Thank you for Hobbits and Elvish songs. Thank you for mended holes in the knees of my jeans all through grade school. Thank you for gardens. Thank you for blessings at the beginning of the school year. Thank you for always being worthy to give blessings when we needed them. Thank you for correcting my grammar. Thank you for making me my favorite food and letting me watch ‘Ferris Beuler’s Day Off’ when I stayed home sick from school. Thank you for waking up early to take me to seminary. Thank you for taking me T.P.-ing to help me fit in with my new friends. Thank you for going to work everyday even when every muscle in your body hurt and still working your hardest so that we could have food to eat and a house to live in. Thank you for always encouraging my talents and helping me to find new ones. Thank you for putting up with my constant talking and extreme opinions. Thank you for shopping from store to store with me for hours to find the jacket I had to have cause all the “cool” kids had one and then doing the same thing all over again to help me find clothes for my mission.Thank you for all the "ear cuts". Thank you for teaching me that family is the most important and how to be a good sibling even when I wasn’t always the best. Thank you for baptizing me. Thank you for being married in the covenant. Thank you for making the sacrifices that you did so that I could grow up where I did with privileges and opportunities that I did. Thank you for homemade bread. Thank you for making popcorn and carob milk to eat while we watch ‘Indiana Jones’ with a generator because the power went out one winter. Thank you for teaching me accountability for my actions. Thank you for making me always share a room with a brother. Thank you for teaching me how to work. Thank you for trips to the beach. Thank you holding me when I scraped my knee and cried. Thank you for explaining the “facts of life” to me, some parents don’t do that. Thank you for tamales and manger pageants at Christmas. Thank you for a wooden rocking horse made by hand. Thank you for family conversations with us all piled on the bed in the “family room”. Thank you for showing me how to love. Thank you for showing me how to forgive. Thank you for showing me how to serve. Thank you for teaching me how to respect sacred things. Thank you for leading me and guiding me and walking beside me. Most of all thank you for loving me.
For these and a myriad of other reasons both personal to me and to all of your other children, you have shown us how to have a successful marriage. Thank you for your example. I hope that I can follow in your footsteps and pray that you have many more great years of marriage for me and my children to learn from and enjoy being a part of. I love you Dad, I love you Mom.

Love,

Ethan

They're AWESOME Grandparents!

Eden and Papa Dean meeting Mikkel at the airport after his mission

Lili Mom with Bria and baby Eden right after her birth


Papa Dean and baby Isaac (July 2000)

Lili Mom and baby Isaiah

Cousins having fun at the family reunion

I want you to know that I thank my Heavenly Father regularly for the great blessing of Kirsten in my life and that she was raised in such a good home with wonderful parents. I am so thankful that our children can also have such wonderful grandparents. I can not express in words how grateful I am to be a part of your family. Your awesome examples, attitudes and resilience have taught and continue to teach me.

Happy Anniversary!!

Love,
Dan

From Sunshine Far Away But Grateful

This is parts of a talk I have given (twice now) about families:

“…I so desperately want my boys to be able to have the kind of parents I have. As I think about what my parents did to ensure that their [family] was strong and unified I realize they did so many things right.

I think the most important thing that any of us can do is to teach and lead by example. I had a boss that used to say I can’t hear what you are saying because your actions are so loud. My parents always had plenty to say but they really, really lead by example. They told us that we should read our scriptures and pray and go to church but they did those things with us. And equally important, we knew that even when we weren’t there they were reading their scriptures and praying and fulfilling their church responsibilities. believed they were slave driving us to do housework and yard work, but we learned how to weed the garden from them, we learned how to clean and organize from them, and we learned that the job isn’t done until all the tools are cleaned and put away.They told us that service is important but then they took us to the church welfare farm to pick corn and grapes at o’dark hundred hours in the morning. My mom fed the missionaries and fixed the holes in their pants. They moved into a different house so that my grandma could live with us for the last year of her life, and ensured that she was as comfortable as she could be. My mom bathed her and fed her, and changed her when she no longer had control over her bladder and bowels. They taught us with words but more importantly they taught us by example.

Another thing my parents did well was to create a safe place where we always knew-no matter what-there were people and an environment that would keep us safe. There were absolutely consequences for wrong choices and bad actions, but I think it was because there was discipline that the environment was possible. My mom was always there, always. And we always knew that our parents loved each other, many times embarrassingly so. Of course now I think it great that they still like to kiss every chance they get. I was told that I was loved every single day. I don’t know if it was a conscious effort on their part but there was no question in my mind that I was very loved. In fact I remember having debates about which kid was loved best. We were all sure it was us because my mom would say things like, “I love you more than any of my other twelve year old girls.”

…Our friends wanted to hang out at our house. I remember being annoyed that my friends wanted to hang with my mom. My parents weren’t just friends with us they were friends with our friends. I was talking to my brother a little while ago and he told me about his friends that came to stay for weeks and months. My parents live in a pretty small house. One time all the bedrooms were so filled up that one of his friends had to sleep under the dining room table. He wanted to be in the safe place my parents had made so badly that he slept under the table for months…

…An invaluable skill my parents instilled in all of their children is a strong work ethic. I believe that one of the reasons my parents made such a strong family is because we worked together…hard and often. I believe that being able to work and not give up is a more valuable skill than being super smart or having a bunch of innate talents. If you know how to work you can learn how to do anything…It is important to know how to work hard because anything worth having has to be worked for…

…I never ever knew how fiercely I would love my children. I want them to be so safe and happy always.”

Now I know how my parents feel about me. Thank you for loving me so much and teaching me the very best you knew how to be a happy, loving, hard working and giving person. I only pray that I will be able to do it for my kids.

Happy, Happy Anniversary-you deserve it! I love you forever

From Carolyn Burk

To my dear and forever friends, Dean and Lili, on the event of their 40th anniversary of blissful (not perfect) joyful, eternal matrimony. I love and admire you and know you will meet your future goals (retirement and mission). Thumbs up to your loving family circle (you do have an actual circle). It is something so sought after in this life of trials and opposition.
Congratulations and much love,
Carolyn

From Lori

Uncle Dean and Aunt Lily,
You two are awesome! I always enjoy our times together. I have fond memories of my childhood spent at Grandma Davis' house with you and your kids. I was excited to find out what you would name your next child, as the years went by. You two have a way of making people feel loved.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
Love,
Lori

Mission Poems

Almost every missionary sends a letter home at some point or another from the MTC or the Field expressing gratitude to their parents for being good ones. They realize they are homesick. They realize that not everyone had it so good...I sent mine home during the MTC. You can click on the pages or any photo in this blog to enlarge it. It was so nice to have their teachings and examples guiding me on my mission, to come home to their loving arms and to know that I am part of one awesome eternal family with a heritage of faithful men and women, chiefly, Mommy and Daddy.

From Shiloh

Mom has always been there for me...I think she has spent the most time helping me and helping me get through school and other lifes problems! Haha! She would even hold me even though I weigh alot. There were times when I wished she was irresponsible like other mothers but when I look back on my life, every thing she ever did for me and you was what we needed to be the best husband and wives! I would not trade all the disiplining, pain, and lovingness that our parents gave to us for anything! I love you mom and dad!

From Libbi

What I remember most is how loving they have always been my entire life and their beautiful smiles everytime you meet them with open arms. Also I used the get mixed up when I was little and I would slip out the Lean and Dili. Wow! silly kids, so glad not to be one anymore, in most ways that is :0) Oh, I just think it's the coolest thing that they are still together going 40 years strong. I'm so happy for them and all of you kids to be so blessed with your beautiful amazing family!!!
Much Love ~ Libbi

Holding Hands

I like that you hold hands in Church, while driving and any other time it's handy. (Don't blame me for the corny humor...I come by it honestly...from both sides, but mostly Dad.) And even though we thought it was gross growing up, I'm glad you make-out in the kitchen and pinch eachother's rears when you think no-one is looking.
Speaking of Hand Holding etc. Here's a blog post I made to my personal blog a while back:

Large, rough and calloused, my father's hands are a study in love. From the little hours to sundown, for decades, they have labored diligently to keep a large and happy family in shoes, clothing and good health. Scars tell stories of trees and gardens expertly groomed. Cracks recount cold winters and dry sawdust. Wrinkles remind of Christmas sacrifices to craft indelible memories.
It was his hand, or rather one finger of his hand, that I held when I first walked in the Grove where Joseph saw the Lord, I looked at my father's face, and I knew it was a sacred place where we walked. As my father holds my mother's equally beautiful hand in his, I can't help but recall how those weathered, leathered hands gently and patiently helped to sculpt my faith in my Heavenly Father's love.Every summer, family outings found us piled in our '78 Chevy van, which of course, became a 4x4 with dad at the wheel. He managed to always find untouched retreats at the end of abandoned logging roads nestled in the California Sierra Nevada.

One of my favorite habits on such adventures was finding the perfect sheet of granite just under the surface of the snow melt river. I'd sit with the frigid water streaming over my dusty legs and hot feet, not caring about the numbness, rapid current or even the occasional leech. I just wanted to experience nature and make the most of the quickly ebbing summer days.

On one such occasion, I remember how excited I was to find a little niche in a naturally occurring dam. As the water poured over the slabs of granite, a small bite out of the rock formed a perfect chair. I watched as my older brothers, who insisted on testing it first, let the rush of water blast their bare backs as they sat in the perfect throne.

When my turn came, I realized right away that the water hit me more on the neck than my back. I gripped the sides of the rock that half surrounded me, but the force was too strong for a 12 year old girl. The undercurrent caught me and pulled me under as my head hit the rock where I had tried to sit. The pain made me panic and I had trouble holding my breath. Just then, I felt a large, strong hand grab my forearm and pull me out of the river entirely. “I thought I'd lost you” I heard my father say as he helped me to the shore.

Later, looking up at the universe of stars as they can only be seen high in the mountains, I remember thinking how grateful I was that my Dad was watching over me and I thanked my Father in Heaven for such loving parents.

Fast forward eight years to another summer night. I remember the look of distress and concern in my mother's eyes as she firmly expressed her disapproval of the decision I had made to date a young man she and my father knew was a poor choice for me. My dad was quieter, but equally upset. I probably said something disrespectful about being an adult and knowing how to choose for myself before storming off to my room to cry. I didn't want to hear what they thought. I was having fun and experiencing life.A quarter of an hour later, my father came in and sat beside me. He enfolded me in his arms, his hands patting my back. Gently and simply he said “We love you and want you to be happy. We know that you know better. We just want you to make the right choices.”

My rage melted and I knew that they saw the matter more clearly than I had allowed myself to see it.I broke off my relationship with the young man and again found myself thanking my Heavenly Father that my earthly father was there to watch over me. That pivotal decision, I feel, has helped to lead me on paths that have made my life so much fuller and richer than it might have been had my father not listened to the voice of the spirit in order to be a ready instrument in the Lord's hands.

Years later, I find myself happily married and raising a daughter of my own. Not long ago, however, I felt myself lagging in my spiritual growth and letting tiny doubts seep in. I called my parents and chatted about toddlerisms and siblings, new happenings and old friends. I'm not certain if Dad felt prompted to share or if he was just bubbling over with excitement as he told a story of his latest faith building moment as an ordinance worker in the Sacramento Temple. As he spoke, my heart softened and I knew what he was testifying of was true and sacred. My testimony was jump started as I found myself being rescued from the currents of life and renewed with a gulp of living water.

As with many “lifelong members”, my testimony of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ was formed a drop at a time. So many of those drops distilled during father's blessings at the beginning of each new school year when the warm hands atop my head filled my whole spirit with warmth and understanding. Those hands baptized me and held the word of God during many a family fireside study. When I was sick and fevered, they anointed my head and afterward held me close till the pain passed. On my mission, I asked myself if I was being the kind of servant that would honor my earthly and my Heavenly Father's trust. Regardless of how far I have travelled and the trials I have faced, my father and his calloused, gentle hands have been there for me as a constant anchor and a continual manifestation of the love the Lord has for each of His children.