"By small and simple things..."

I love Mom and Dad for their example of going to the Oakland Temple almost every month and now the Sacramento Temple every week.
I love them for teaching me to love nature. I'll never forget all the gardening and lake outings and beach outings. Not to mention the "Secret Spot" at the river.
I love them for teaching me how to garden and work with the Earth.
I love that I know how to make bread, swing a hammer, iron a shirt, wire a house, change a diaper, repair sheetrock, efficiently move heavy objects, sew a button back on, analyze wood grain, and all of this along with all the rest of the endless storehouse of knowledge they have passed on to us and will continue to pass on to us.
I love them for teaching me what true love is and where to find it, how to show it, and how to grow it.
I love holidays with my parents and family. I love that we are so close. I love Christmas time and nativity reenactments.
I love that even if they did have a little extra space at times, we still had to share bedrooms.
I love being with Mom and Dad when they call each other during the day for no reason to say "I love you."
I love it when Dad whistles and hums throughout the day because it reminds everyone how happy and blessed he knows he is.
I love watching Mom open her mouth to brighten the day of strangers irregardless <-- :) of whether it leads to missionary lessons or not. I love Mom and Dad's never-ceasing attention to the small and simple things in life from day to day and moment to moment that can make a lifetime of difference. They have never stopped showing their example that every day is made up of choices upon choices and patience, family, charity, faith, wisdom, and prayer can guide us through and choice we have to make. They have brought great things and miracles to pass by the simple things that this mortal part of the plan has asked of them. And all the miracles will only branch out and sprout exponentially more. I'll never forget waking up (or trying to wake up) at the same time as the sun to go build character and bless the family inside and outside of the home on Saturdays and during summers. I'll never forget asking a question and often being told to seek out the knowledge myself - spiritual or secular - whether or not the answer was already known to the parent being asked. I'll never forget combing beaches and riverbeds for nature's treasures. I'll never forget tamales at Christmas and enchiladas all the rest of the time and crepes and french toast on mornings we felt like some extra nap time later on. :) I'll never forget the examples and testimonies of my parents. I'll never forget that it would have been much more difficult for me to learn about Jesus Christ and his Atonement and teachings and decide to accept it all had I not been taught and shown step by step and day by day the difference it all makes early on. I feel very proud knowing that all of us children and grandchildren are so blessed to have you and know that you are some of the few heroes that have made it past 40 years. I love you with all my heart
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When I think about Mom and Dad I remember playing outside the window where mom would let me and Ben make huge mud puddles and play in them smearing mud all over ourselves until mom would come out and tell us to stop making such a huge mess.

I remember them taking us camping to strange a beautiful places. remember being raised on honey and carob and fresh milk from a farm. We would go with mom or dad to the nearest Co-Op to get honey and fresh milk. Dad used to play fun games with us in the snow, he taught us how to play 'Fox and Geese' in the snow. We would bring in big bowls of snow in the winter and we would poor milk and honey into the snow and eat it.

We would go down the street to the nearest swimming hole in the woods and would play with frogs and crawdads and dad would help us build little dams and wading pools. I remember mom getting bored out of her mind on some days, so she would load us into the van to go swimming in places like Arrowhead Lake. I remember mom making homemade candy from honey. She would show us how to pull it and pull it and pull it like taffy until it became like a caramel.
We’ve had a garden just about everywhere we’ve lived and I remember working side by side with both of them growing vegetables, fruits and herbs. One time in the McCrary house in NC we had to clear a spot for the garden and I remember having fun clearing shrubs and digging up holes to make the garden.
Dad always had a firm but loving hand in the way that he raised us. Like when we’d get in trouble, he’d always lecture us very sternly and then explain the why’s of the consequences and so would mom. There were always good lessons in everything they taught us in gardening, reading and planning together as a family. Dad always read us good and interesting books, he used to love to read us stories. Looking back on it, reading to us like that was probably a good way of keeping us in a good home with good values instead of us being out and about getting into trouble.
They would always teach us good values out of the scriptures. Even to this day they’ll round whoever is home up for scripture study. They always taught that serving a mission wasn’t just a good idea but a commandment from the Lord. They tried to teach us all good manners and a dignified way to dress and act properly. They always taught us to have good manners and to be respectful when in guests’ homes. We would learn responsibilities from feeding the dog, washing the cars or having doing the dishes on our “dishes night” or fixing meals. I have mom to thank for not minding doing dishes so much these days in fact I find it almost therapeutic. If mom hadn’t talked me into doing dishes when it was my turn all the time, I would probably hate doing them now. None of us would have made it to be Eagle Scouts if it weren’t for mom.
I know they always tried to help each one of us through the hard times in our own lives. Whether it was tough times at school or trouble with boys and girls at school or just growing up, you know growing pains and the like.
Mom and dad always taught us that if you have a goal or something in mind that you want you have to reach out and grab it and take it. Whether it’s career oriented or a talent or skill that you want to acquire. You know like my art. In fact artwork has become a running tradition in our family because of that. I guess that what I’m trying to say is that they taught us to work for what we want to accomplish, for our goals, and if we do it’s a lot more satisfying. If you don’t have to work for something then it’s a lot easier for it to fall by the wayside and you won’t appreciate it. You have earn your own way in this world, you can’t just have things handed to you. Thank you for teaching me all of these important life lessons and how to be a good parent. I love you guys.

Love,

Darby

From Ethan

Well Dad and Mom, you’ve arrived at a forty year marker of your love. Wow! That is so awesome. I can’t wait until I find the girl that I’m going to spend the next forty years with. I heard it said recently that the sum of a parent’s success, and I would add the success of a marriage, is evidenced in how their children have turned out. No amount of money, wealth, fame or power can account for a failure in the home. I just have to say that even with me in the mix, you two have done exceptionally well.
With the kind of parenting that you displayed we were always able to store away knowledge and develop habits and personalities that we would be able to use wisely in the future. I am so happy to have always had the privilege and blessing of growing up in a home where Christ is at the head with my parents at His side. I am grateful to the two of you for always teaching us just principles and ordinances of the gospel through your examples and one on one teaching. I am grateful to you, Dad, for righteously leading our family in the priesthood for the past forty years and to you, Mom, for righteously leading by teaching us how to follow the direction of the Savior and our earthly father, and how to lead as a companionship. What better lessons could be taught to your children?
I’m grateful for Dad always teaching us to respect our mother, sisters and women in general. I’m grateful to Mom for teaching us how to respect a righteous priesthood holder like Dad. grateful for learning that love notes hidden throughout a house and car can be big part of keeping love in a marriage. I’m grateful to know that it’s okay to let your kids see you kiss and hug your wife before you go to work and throughout the day just because. I'm grateful to have seen that it's okay to have disagreements in a marriage as long as you talk through them and make up. I’m grateful to know that a good way to strengthen a marriage is to pray and read the scriptures as a couple and with your kids. I’m grateful for family home evenings and family scriptures study, but most importantly being able to hear the testimonies of my parents as we studied the gospel together. I’m grateful to have learned how to be a good home teacher from my first companion, Dad. I’m grateful for learning how to not cut corners and to do the job right the first time from both of you guys in scouting, church, work and life. I’m grateful for family camping trips and knowing where I get my wild adventurous side from, what you didn’t think that we knew you would sneak off to go skinny dipping sometimes Dad? I’m grateful for parents who truly established a house of learning through their open mindedness, don’t discount the show of character it was for a white farm boy from Idaho to have an interracial marriage with a cute Latina from Mexico. You taught us to look at the world, not just where we live. When we had questions, you supplied encyclopedias and National Geographics (Yes it took us a while to get internet.) to us. Thank you for showing us how have gratitude for the things we have. Thank you for Hobbits and Elvish songs. Thank you for mended holes in the knees of my jeans all through grade school. Thank you for gardens. Thank you for blessings at the beginning of the school year. Thank you for always being worthy to give blessings when we needed them. Thank you for correcting my grammar. Thank you for making me my favorite food and letting me watch ‘Ferris Beuler’s Day Off’ when I stayed home sick from school. Thank you for waking up early to take me to seminary. Thank you for taking me T.P.-ing to help me fit in with my new friends. Thank you for going to work everyday even when every muscle in your body hurt and still working your hardest so that we could have food to eat and a house to live in. Thank you for always encouraging my talents and helping me to find new ones. Thank you for putting up with my constant talking and extreme opinions. Thank you for shopping from store to store with me for hours to find the jacket I had to have cause all the “cool” kids had one and then doing the same thing all over again to help me find clothes for my mission.Thank you for all the "ear cuts". Thank you for teaching me that family is the most important and how to be a good sibling even when I wasn’t always the best. Thank you for baptizing me. Thank you for being married in the covenant. Thank you for making the sacrifices that you did so that I could grow up where I did with privileges and opportunities that I did. Thank you for homemade bread. Thank you for making popcorn and carob milk to eat while we watch ‘Indiana Jones’ with a generator because the power went out one winter. Thank you for teaching me accountability for my actions. Thank you for making me always share a room with a brother. Thank you for teaching me how to work. Thank you for trips to the beach. Thank you holding me when I scraped my knee and cried. Thank you for explaining the “facts of life” to me, some parents don’t do that. Thank you for tamales and manger pageants at Christmas. Thank you for a wooden rocking horse made by hand. Thank you for family conversations with us all piled on the bed in the “family room”. Thank you for showing me how to love. Thank you for showing me how to forgive. Thank you for showing me how to serve. Thank you for teaching me how to respect sacred things. Thank you for leading me and guiding me and walking beside me. Most of all thank you for loving me.
For these and a myriad of other reasons both personal to me and to all of your other children, you have shown us how to have a successful marriage. Thank you for your example. I hope that I can follow in your footsteps and pray that you have many more great years of marriage for me and my children to learn from and enjoy being a part of. I love you Dad, I love you Mom.

Love,

Ethan

From Sunshine Far Away But Grateful

This is parts of a talk I have given (twice now) about families:

“…I so desperately want my boys to be able to have the kind of parents I have. As I think about what my parents did to ensure that their [family] was strong and unified I realize they did so many things right.

I think the most important thing that any of us can do is to teach and lead by example. I had a boss that used to say I can’t hear what you are saying because your actions are so loud. My parents always had plenty to say but they really, really lead by example. They told us that we should read our scriptures and pray and go to church but they did those things with us. And equally important, we knew that even when we weren’t there they were reading their scriptures and praying and fulfilling their church responsibilities. believed they were slave driving us to do housework and yard work, but we learned how to weed the garden from them, we learned how to clean and organize from them, and we learned that the job isn’t done until all the tools are cleaned and put away.They told us that service is important but then they took us to the church welfare farm to pick corn and grapes at o’dark hundred hours in the morning. My mom fed the missionaries and fixed the holes in their pants. They moved into a different house so that my grandma could live with us for the last year of her life, and ensured that she was as comfortable as she could be. My mom bathed her and fed her, and changed her when she no longer had control over her bladder and bowels. They taught us with words but more importantly they taught us by example.

Another thing my parents did well was to create a safe place where we always knew-no matter what-there were people and an environment that would keep us safe. There were absolutely consequences for wrong choices and bad actions, but I think it was because there was discipline that the environment was possible. My mom was always there, always. And we always knew that our parents loved each other, many times embarrassingly so. Of course now I think it great that they still like to kiss every chance they get. I was told that I was loved every single day. I don’t know if it was a conscious effort on their part but there was no question in my mind that I was very loved. In fact I remember having debates about which kid was loved best. We were all sure it was us because my mom would say things like, “I love you more than any of my other twelve year old girls.”

…Our friends wanted to hang out at our house. I remember being annoyed that my friends wanted to hang with my mom. My parents weren’t just friends with us they were friends with our friends. I was talking to my brother a little while ago and he told me about his friends that came to stay for weeks and months. My parents live in a pretty small house. One time all the bedrooms were so filled up that one of his friends had to sleep under the dining room table. He wanted to be in the safe place my parents had made so badly that he slept under the table for months…

…An invaluable skill my parents instilled in all of their children is a strong work ethic. I believe that one of the reasons my parents made such a strong family is because we worked together…hard and often. I believe that being able to work and not give up is a more valuable skill than being super smart or having a bunch of innate talents. If you know how to work you can learn how to do anything…It is important to know how to work hard because anything worth having has to be worked for…

…I never ever knew how fiercely I would love my children. I want them to be so safe and happy always.”

Now I know how my parents feel about me. Thank you for loving me so much and teaching me the very best you knew how to be a happy, loving, hard working and giving person. I only pray that I will be able to do it for my kids.

Happy, Happy Anniversary-you deserve it! I love you forever

Hey Papa Dean and Lili Mom,

We are so happy and proud to be part of your family. Thank you for a gospel heritage and living and working under the covenant. We feel that influence in each and every aspect of our lives as we all grow in our own part of the garden...

From Janet

What can I say? Your Father was born July 29, 1942. He was supposed to be a girl. I had two brothers already. Oh well such is life. I was only seven so I'm not sure about this but I understand he never wore diapers. I admit I dropped him on his head, but in my defense he was little, about a year old he should have out grown it. Don't you think?
When we moved to Quincy and our new lawn was near death he took the shovel a big tin can and rode a mile or two into the country on his bike and returned with the can full of earth worms. He scattered the worms on our very sick lawn and it lived.

With Uncle Lyle's help they made a KILLER batch of cookies--equal parts of salt and sugar. He gave himself a haircut and covered the mistakes with shoe polish. He loved to work in the garden with Mom and Dad.

Little brother, affectionately known as Teeny Deany, you along with your dear wife Lily have raised an awesome family. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 40th ANNIVERSARY.
I love you both
-Janet

A GARDEN'S EXAMPLE

One morning when Dean and Lili were visiting us we awoke to find that Dean had already been up for a few hours digging up our back yard to make a GARDEN!

He mined the rocks and bricks around our house and made a delightful garden enclosure worthy of Better Homes and Gardens.

As we have tended to and harvested the fruits of that charitable act we have been continuously reminded that, while we sleep or are distracted by our daily lives, we have a loving family working behind the scenes and looking out for our needs.

Thanks Lili and Dean for your examples!

Love: Nick

------------------------MORE GARDEN PICS-----------------------

From Enoch

Well...........I like that mom and dad have raised their sons working hard and working thoroughly so that any jobs that we do in life can be done in such a manner.

I love that mom and dad got a lot of practice with raising children before they had me so that they could take the good from the bad to raise the perfect tenth child...

I am thankful for all the natural foods that I have eaten, mom.

Reading the nativity every christmas, dad.

Eating what we grow, mom and dad....

Enchiladas y tamales, mama...

Potatoes, father.

Mending jeans, shirts, cuts, hearts, mama.

Expert haircuts, mama.

My safe delivery to the earth, papa.

Risking your life at the age of 42 to have one last baby, mama....

From Bella

I like about Papa Dean that he made me a garden. I like to snuggle Lili Mom and Papa Dean and have parties with them. I love you Lili Mom and Papa Dean, SO MUCH! Love, Bella